Not my thoughts

The other day I was listening to the song wilderness off my new supertones CD (this is after I put it on here), and this got me thinking.

In this I rest in this I find my refuge
That my thoughts and ways are not His

At first I thought that was an odd thing to say. How can that be a refuge? Then I thought about it more, and I get it. It would be scary if God thought the same way I do. He would need help just as much as me. It would be like someone with a broken arm, trying to carry someone that just broke their ankle. We would get nowhere.

Wilderness

The rain falls on the righteous and the wicked
Mine is not to reason why this is
In this I rest in this I find my refuge
That my thoughts and ways are not His
I spend my life on looking up the answers
It’s rare that I can’t find a reason why
But reasons fail at children without mothers
His plan is more than I can know

Have you ever held in doubt
What this life is all about
Have you questioned all these things that seem important to us
Do you really want to know
Or are you a little scared
You’re afraid that God is not exactly what you’d have Him be
What should I hold to and what should I do
How do I know if anything’s true
I’m somewhere in-between Canaan and Egypt
A place called the wilderness

I’m not one who always trusts their feelings
I don’t believe in what you’d call blind faith
But faith that You can do all that You promised
And You said it all works for good
It’s safe to say I don’t see the big picture
I can’t see the forest for the trees
And if five hundred lives
Were mine to get to know
You all could be spent on just this

(bridge)

God do You really understand what it’s like to be a man
Have You ever felt the weight of loving all the things You hate
Have You struggled have You worried
How can You sympathize

I have spoken much to soon put my hand over my mouth
I can’t contend with You
You ways are so much higher
And we pass through the fire that Christ endured before us
When You were in the wilderness

By The OC Supertones

Second surgery

I went to the doctor for my arm today, and I will be having the surgery on my ulnar nerve in December. It was not getting better, and the car accident was ten months ago. My funny bone will be moved to a different spot on my elbow, and then it should get better.

Well there was good news, the surgery they did on my radial nerve has healed quite well. I hardly feel any pain in it ever (when I do it is something strange, and is not very bad at all), and all the feeling that was not right with that nerve being messed up is back to how it should be.

Colorado Springs

I did not blog all weekend, because my family went to Colorado Springs. We got there Friday and came home last night. Not a whole lot was planned for the weekend, but we added things to do once we got there.

The first thing we did Friday night was go to Focus on the Family. I have been there once before, but a lot has changed in the past five years. Last time the slide was closed (I forget why), and we could not go down it. This time I got to go down, but I only went down once. After getting a bruise on my arm (not my hurt arm, but I hit it too) I decided it was not such a good idea. I think Julie went down at least fifteen times. We went back the next morning to make an odyssey cd (that was cool).

Saturday we got to see several people we had not in a while. We went out to breakfast with Tim and Carol, and out to lunch with Jeremy, Emily, and their baby Namen at my uncles restaurant. I had not seen Tim and Carol since I was six or seven. It was kind of interesting to see them again. I got to hear more of what they are doing in Mexico, and with Wycliffe. It had not been as long since I saw Jeremy and Emily, only three months and not ten or more years. It was long enough for Namen to look different. We also got to see my uncle Jeff briefly as well, but he could not talk for long. He had to run the restaurant, make sure it did not burn down from the crazy cooking habits of some chefs ;).

We walked through the World Prayer Center with Jeremy and Emily. It was kind of cool to see, but I would have like to stay longer.

Getting lost can be bad, but it is worse when you get stopped by someone in uniform, and asked for your military pass :o. We were looking for the air force museum, but we did not find it. They told us how to get there, but did not have time to go after that.

I got to go to my first Supertones, Sky harbor, Superchic[k], and the Wedding concert. I liked the o.c Supertones and Sky Harbor the most. Superchic[k] was cool too, but I don’t really like the lead singer that much (and I am not talking about how she sings). The Wedding was terrible, disgusting, and irritating. They would take a drink of water and spit it on each other and the crowed. I was so glad we decided not to be right up front to avoid mash-pits (I found something good about having nerve damage in my arm). I think I like the Supertones more now, than I did before (and the lead singer in superchic[k] less) they are cool guys.

Sunday, before coming home, we got to explore (where you could) a castle not far from Colorado Springs. Closed doors telling you that you can’t go in them, is not a nice thing to find all over the place, but it was still really cool.

Anyway, this post is getting really long, so I will end it for you.

Thieves

As my mum, Joanie and I were folding landry, Sarah started barking like crazy. Quite certain she was just barking at a bird or a rabbit, mum had me put her in her cage. We did not check very well to see what it was she might really be barking about, and that was a mistake.

Only moments latter, I looked out the window to see two men opening up old blue (our old blue el camino). I quickly told mum, and she open up the widow, " Hey! What are you doing getting into our car?" One of them had the papers to the car in his hand, and looked up in shock. "Put those back in the car!"

He put the papers back in with a look of sadness at being caught, and quickly ask, " Is it for sale?"

"No! This is privet property. Get off!" My mum was getting quite upset at his persisting.

Still not getting the hint he asked, "What year is it?" My mum told him it was a sixty-three, and she told him again to leave the property. The two men slowly left.

Once they were off our land, mum had me go out with her to lock the car. I was to keep watch and make sure they did not come back as she did. As for what I would do if they did, I don’t know.

A quote

'Wherever you are be all there, live to the hilt any situation you believe to be the will of God.'
~ Jim Elliot

Allergic to cows

Yesterday we went on a field trip to a dairy farm, and this morning I started to sneeze like crazy. My conclusion, I am allergic to cows (ok so I don’t really believe that).

Confession, I really only went for the corn maze. I have always thought that would be cool, but have never gotten to go in one. The only corn field I had been in was my great Grandpa's. However, it was not a maze, but was just a normal corn field. I was taught how to get out if I got lost from a young age (knowing me, they thought they should tell me that). You just fallow the rows. With that thought tucked away in my head, and the one about not being aloud to go it the corn field, I never got lost nor caught.

Anyway, Julie was Joanie’s, Chorine’s (one of the only other people thereover twelve), and my guide through the maze. I am sure at seven years old, the youngest by nine years out of four kids, it was nice to be able to tell us which way to go for once. She had a lot of fun leading us though it, and I thought is was cool just being in there.

Football

We went to my cousin, Tom's, football game today. It was kind of fun to watch him out there playing, but I hardly know anything about football and was rather lost at times. I had fun with his digital camera (until my arm went numb), and recording it. It is a cool little camera.

His team was very good, and won 13 to nothing. I hear this was not the first game they have won either. In fact they have won every game they have played so far.

Oh, yeah, and we did not go out for fondue. I was a poor confused person, but the food was good anyway.

Glasses

Well I have to get my new glasses tented, and they won't be anything like the old ones (but I might still use my old ones for driving during the day, because they have UV protection). My old ones were almost black (it bugged people that they could not see my eyes through them), and these will be very light coloured. The others had eight or nine different dark colours, and these will have two different light colours (if I remember a light blue or teal, and a light purple-ish colour). They will, hopefully, be here two weeks from monday.

High speed

I am at my aunt's right now, and she has high speed. I am going to be missing it when I go home on Sunday, but in the mean time I will use it quite gladly.

I will soon be going to the eye doctor, and they will see if I need new glasses. It is going to take an hour or more of testing different colours, and seeing how my glasses that I already have are working. I have already picked out my new frames for if I have to get new ones, because they request that you do before coming for a check up. If I did have to get them tented this time, it will take them a month to be sent to me (they make them in California, maybe Jenn could pick them up for me ;) . Would you be able to get them to me any faster?).

Soon my grandparents will be here, and my aunt will be back from breakfast. Then I will most likely leave as soon as they get here, but I hear tonight we will be going out to eat at a fondue place (rumor has it the food is very good there).

Okay, their computer is telling me it won't let me use spell check. If anything is spelled wrong, I am sorry. I will most likely know after Isaac reads it :D

School pictures

I have never really hated getting school pictures, but hopefully these will look better than some I have had. My teeth are no longer crooked and stick out while I try to smile with my mouth closed and to hide them (yes that would be a good thing for these pictures not to have), so that will help. I guess these would be my senior pictures. My mom put that I was in the 12th grade on the form, and I guess I will be by the time they send them. I only have a couple more hours on this one credit, and then I will be a senior.

Editing

I went back and added to my last post, because I listened to the song again. I had forgotten to put the end in. Now it is there, and the song is no longer incomplete.

my sisters cd

I am borrowing a cd from my sister, by Stacie Orrico. I really like track eight,
strong enough:

as I rest against this cold hard wall
oh will you pass me by
will you criticize me as I sit and cry
I had fought so hard
and thought that all my battles had been won
only to find the war has just begun

is He not strong enough
is He not pure enough
to break me, pour me out and start again
is He not brave enough
to take this chance on me
please can I have one chance to start again

will my weakness for an hour
make me suffer for a lifetime
is there any way to be made whole again
if I am healed, renewed and find forgiveness
find the strength I’ve never had
will my scars ruin all God’s plan

He took my life into His hands
and turned it all around
in my most desperate circumstance
it’s there I finally found

that You are strong enough
that You are pure enough
to break me, pour me out and start again
that You are brave enough
to take one chance on me
oh, thank You for my chance to start again

The president

I saw the president, Bush, today, because he was giving a speech in Colorado. Since I both live in Colorado, and know Sue, I was able to go. It was kind of cool to be able to go to his speech, and now I can say I have seen him. It is not like he shook my hand or anything, but I am ok with that.

Afterwards, I went in to a play place at Mc Donald’s which may have been my last time in one. It was cool to play in there, but I tried not to go on the nets (I don’t think they were meant to hold over a hundred pounds).

Well I need to go do physical therapy, and get some sleep. Therefore, this post must end.

Isaiah 41:10

'Do not fear, for I am with you;
Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you, surely I will help you,
Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.'

Piano lessons

I started piano again today. Since it was my first lesson in five years and with a new teacher, I had to just grab a bunch of different books to see what she would have me using. At least we have a lot of piano books to chose from.

I like the way this time of having lessons looks so far. She sees better where I want to go, and is planning how to get me there. This week was only the first lesson, but I feel like she will have me at a faster pace. Which will be good. I like to be able to see things happening when I am learning to play an instrument, or in this case to play it better (I think that is part of why guitar is not going so well).

Well I am not playing Bach yet, but I would like to be able to someday.

Feeling red

Do you ever have one of those moments when you do something stupid or embarrassing, and you just start to laugh really hard? Yeah, I had one of those special moments in a church we were visiting this morning.

The pastor was the only thing you could hear echoing round the room in dead silence, when my Bible started to slip off my lap. In a panic I slapped my hands both down fast, so as to keep it from a near death experience. Unfortunately, it was a loud slapping of my hands, and you could hear it all throughout the room.

As if that was not bad enough, I started to laugh. It was so hard to even try and make it so you could not hear it, and it did not work. I was able to keep my laughing somewhat quiet, but not unnoticeable. I could tell I was turning red in my embarrassment. Then my poor little sister, Joanie, started to snicker quietly beside me.

Fortunately, it was near the end of the service. Once it was over I could go outside and not worry about laughing at my stupidity.