Give it up

It never seems easy to give things over to God. For some reason I am afraid of what He will do with it. Maybe in some cases, it will never be mine again. In others, I feel like God gave it to me and maybe I did not even want it in the first place, but it became dear to me.

Then He tells me to give it up, let it be His, let Him be in control of it. Which is where I think the hard part comes in for us little people here on earth. We want to be in control. Every single one of us struggles with wanting to be in control; weather we will admit to it or not, weather we see it or not, we all do.

A while back Greg had a quote of his dad’s on his blog (but it is not there anymore). This is one of his dad’s sayings, “Every relationship is a power struggle.” I see the truth in this. In fact, I think it is profound and 100% true.

I know it will be hard for me to give up some of the things I feel like God has asked me to today, but I know I need to. No mater how hard I try, even though I want to be, I cannot be in control. I mean, think about it. How much can we really control, even when we put our all into it? Maybe what we eat for breakfast, or what we wear that day. Then again, you cannot know for sure that you won’t die in your sleep before you wake up and even get a chance to decide those things. All you will do is burn yourself out stressing over trying to be in control, when you never will be.

Star wars III

I went to see Star wars III today. It definitely tied some different things up to the whole story, but it was rather freaky in parts (Julie is sad because she will not be seeing it, for a good while).

You sit there feeling really bad for Anakin in some parts of it, and then he is freakin’ you out so bad in other parts that you kind of forget to feel too bad (because you are wanting to hurt him yourself!). He can seem like such a caring person, but he is so angry that he destroys everything that really matters to him, in his attempts to save them most of the time too.

Also, you can see that he is killing himself (at a couple different parts) inside for what he is doing. At one point, after he had killed several people, he was just standing there crying about what he had done (see why you can feel sorry for him at times).

It’s sad.

Netsie is back!

Netsie got back from China last week and just yesterday got back in Colorado. Last night her and her younger sister, Kristina, spent the night at our house. They got here around 12 am and we stayed up very late (hey, I had not seen Netsie for a year, we can do that).

It was cool to spend some time with Netsie. Hopefully we can get together again soon. I would like to hear more about her and her family's time in China.

Cousins for the weekend

Two of my cousins, Marie and Tom, spent the weekend at our house. It was the first time they had been to our house in years (normally we go to their house or see them at my Grandparents).

We did not do a tone of stuff, but we did have a nice shoe kicking contest while we were all swinging at a park (unfortunately for me, I lost most of them and did not win any. I had the wrong king of shoes on to do them well). No one was knocked-out, though several came close to being hit in the head by a flying shoe (COUGH... mine...COUGH).

My Grandparents also came up for part of the weekend, so our house was really full. We had every bed full and a chair.

Joanie and Julie also had a piano recital yesterday. I thought they both did good. Julie did not seem nerves at all, and it was her first recital.

Always there

I know Jenn put this last song I just put on here on her blog a while back, but I wanted to put it on here. It is a really good song, that you could almost just pass it by and not know how true and comforting those words can be.

In Galatians 2:20 it says that once you have given your life to Christ, He lives in you, and I Corinthians 3:16 says we are the temple of God and His Spirit dwells in us; along with those two, we have the promise God made in Isaiah 41:10.

So we don’t need to be afraid that we are all alone, or fighting the troubles of this life alone.

The reason why many Christians do not experievce the power of the Spirit, though He actually dwells in their hearts, is that they lack recreance. And they lack revernce because they have not had their eyes opened of the fact of His presence. The fact is there, but they have not seen it. Why is it that some of God’s children live victorious lives while others are in a state of constant defeat? The difference is not accounted for by the presence or absence of the Spirit (for He dwells in the heart of evey child of God) but by this, that some recongnize His indwelling and others do not. True revelation of the fact of the Spirit’s indwelling will revolutionize the life of any Christian.

Watchman Nee, The Normal Christian Life, off of pages 143 and 144

Someone once told me, that God is there holding you, even when you cannot see it.

Never alone

I waited for You today
But You didn’t show
No no no
I needed You today
So where did You go?
You told me to call
Said You’d be there
And though
I haven’t seen You
Are You still there?

I cried out with no reply
And I can’t feel You by my side
So I’ll hold tight to what I know
You’re here and I’m never alone
And though I cannnot see You
And I can’t explain why

Such a deep, deep reassurance
You’ve placed in my life
We cannot separate
‘Cause You’re part of me
And though You’re invisible
I’ll trust the unseen

I cried out with no reply
And I can’t feel You by my side
So I’ll hold tight to what I know
You’re here and I’m never alone
And though I cannot see You
And I can’t explain why

BarlowGirl

Trees

We now have ten more little trees in our yard, and five in the house in pots.

Yesterday, my parents 22nd anniversary, seven out of the ten trees we bought this week were planted. Six are by our drive way and one in Sarah’s part of the yard (our back yard). They add a lot to our rather bare yard.

Poor little Sarah, before dad had dug the hole to put the tree in, he had it standing up with rocks around the bag that held to roots. Sarah was let out, and had to see what this new tree smelled like. While she was sniffing it, it fell over and freaked her out. Once it was in the ground, she went near it cautiously and ready to run from it.

Today, the other three trees were planted out side Joanie’s bedroom window. Also, Julie and I planted some apple seeds we got to grow in little pots. Once they are too big to stay in the house, they will be taken to our grandparents and planted there, beause they will not do well outside all year-round in Colorado.

Mother’s day

When I was about five or six, I learned something that weighed heavy on my heart: sometimes a wife or a husband would leave the other and not come back. As for how I learned this, I do not remember, but it hurt me. How could such a thing happen? A mum and a dad need to be there for their kids and each other, they could not just leave. Yet, I now knew they did.

Not long after learning this, I needed my mum for something. I searched for her everywhere, upstairs, down, in the kitchen, my parents room, everywhere. Not yet in a panic, I went to my dad sitting watching tv and asked him if he knew where she was. All I got out of him was, "she left," and he did not seem happy as he said it.

Horrified, I ran into my older sister’s room, climbed on her bed, curled up in a little ball, and wept.

As for how long I laid there like that, I don’t know; but I do know as soon as I heard my mum come in the house from her grocery shopping, I ran out to great her with an extreme feeling of relief sweeping over me. My mum had not left us, she still cared for us...

Happy Mother’s day mum.

No more!

Yesterday, I went to the Doctor for my arm, but no more!

As long as my arm does not act up or get hurt again (:S), I don’t have to go anymore (if it does act up later, there are some things I can do on my own to try and help it before I go back to the Doctor).

Yes, it is a happy thing.

Jamie’s b-day

Jamie’s birthday is tomorrow. It is not going to be an easy day for her family, so could you guys keep them in mind and in your prayers.

Unfortunate events

At times the world can seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe us when we say that there is much more good in it than bad, all you have to do is look hard enough; and what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events, might be the first steps of a journey.

From the moving A Series of Unfortunate Events