Oh, so I have this video I have been wanting to put up of my oldest and youngest sisters. It is pretty funny. Jennifer is pretty much a dork in it. He whole life really she has been a dork when a camera is involved (she says so herself!) and it is pretty entertaining. I will have to go to my boyfriend's house because he has better internet speed and it would take like 50 hours to upload it from here (no joke). I might see if I can't do that today though (if his roomies don't kick me and my plague out of their house that is...)
Swine flu sucks!!!
I have never had any sickness that was so bad for my lungs before! Seriously.
But, okay, so I was reading in Mere Christianity for book club this week, and the chapter we are going over for this week are: Sexual morality, Christian marriage, Forgiveness, and The great sin. All of which were really good, but I am just going to talk about the last two :D
Forgiveness
So, this chapter was either one of the best I have every read on forgiveness, or it came at just the right time. Long story short and without details (because I don't want to hurt anyone else involved). A friend hurt me recently and forgiving them has been interesting. Partly because I feel robbed of their friendship and wish we could still be friends, yet I am hurting and mad. So, I have all these mixed feelings about the whole thing.
Anyway, in the chapter C.S. Lewis talks about, and better defines, loving your neighbor as yourself. I have always had a hard time understanding this. Like what does that practically mean? Well, he talked about what loving yourself looks like and how that can look when you do it for someone else.
some of the very wise things he said that I can remember without going back and reading it are:
you are not always happy with yourself; therefore, you do not always have to be happy with others. You wish yourself well, even after you have done something stupid and wrong; you can wish those that have hurt you well (forgiveness) even if you know they are stupid and wrong. You can be saddened by your own actions and even be grieved by them; you can be hurt and saddened by others actions and wish them to do better.
Bitterness and hatred just want the other person to suffer and pay.
Forgiveness and love, does not deny that wrong has happened, but it wishes the person to do better--be better. Love is sad when it loses a friend, or that friend does something horrible, but does not wish the friend harm in return for the harm they dealt it.
Anyway, I don't say it near as well as C.S. Lewis, but it was really good to read in light of what I am going through. I sometimes fear that because I am still hurting, or even upset about how someone has hurt me, that I have no forgiven them. However, if I am wishing them well and hoping for things to get better, maybe I am not bitter and I am forgiving them, the wound they gave me just still hurts.
The great sin (as he calls it):Pride
So, I don't like to think of myself as prideful. I would much rather think of myself as insecure (which I can be). When really, they are both a part of the same disease, self centeredness. Anyway, I have been noticing I can be pretty prideful. I hate to admit it (especially since that puts me in the category of those stupid prideful people that i just want to punch in the face every time they open their proud mouth!!), but I am.
One thing he said, was that you will hate the pride in others more, the more you have. I think that might explain why I don't get along with a few people I know that I like to call arrogant jerks...
<_<
>_>
Yeah, I don't have much more to say about this... Other than, I guess that is something I need to be working on.
Other randomness
I finally ate a meal outside of my house last night. It was pretty exciting. Martha, Joanie, and I went to Perkins. I had to try really hard not to cough so people would not freak out that I was there, but we did not get kicked out, so I think I did fine. :D
Thats all the sicky has for now. If you made it all the way through this blog post, I commend you.
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